


I Am Barrayar (Hear Me Sing)

by ana



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Barrayar, Future, Gen, Historical References, Hope, Memorials, Songfic, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 03:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana/pseuds/ana
Summary: Barrayar is her people and her people are Barrayar.This is a lovesong of sorts.A song of Barrayar...one of many I'm sure.





	I Am Barrayar (Hear Me Sing)

“You know, you shouldn’t try to play let’s see who has the most war dead - with a Barrayaran.”

“That wasn’t what I was doing!”

“Do you know what happened to Vorkosigan Vashnoi?”

“No.”

“Look it up but understand that the war isn’t the only reason for the Memorial. Come to it and you’ll understand more what being Barrayar means.”

“You mean Barrayaran?”

“No. Come to the Memorial. Hear the song.”

*

Gregor ~ My mother sang this when I was a child. I recognised the tune but I never remembered the words. When I heard the words when I was older, when I knew more about her life, I understood. I think it gave her strength, gave her hope.

Cordelia ~ When I hear this song I know that I am not Barrayar – that song is all about suffering and pain.

Alys ~ It is not solely about the pain. It is about survival. That is what we did. That is what we do.

Simon ~ You could say we had no choice but to survive but there is always a choice. We find our own ways to sing for something more.

Aral ~ We were always more than Isolation, more than War, more than Survival.  I hear the hope.  Perhaps I made myself hear it at times but I hear it. Padma understood. If he was alive…

Padma ~ Barrayar would want you to hear the hope, would want us all to hear it. At times it was all she had and look where she is now.

~~~

“It’s a strange song to sing on Firsters Day _and_ Memorial Day.  Is it a song or a poem?”

“Both. When you hear it live at the Memorial you’ll get the full force of it. There’s a reason the last verse is in the four languages and believe me you’ll not only hear it, you’ll feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“Barrayar. She’s singing.”

 ~~

**I am Barrayar (Hear Me Sing)**

**  
** _Spinning in the frozen dark._

_Shattered by white fire._

_I am betrayed. I am sorrow._

_I am memory. I am silence._

_But I am here. I am here._

_Can you hear?_

_I take from the torment._

_I do not give. I do not hide._

_I am Barrayar_

_and I am singing._

_I will hold you,_

_as I always held you._

_I will shield you,_

_as I always shielded you._

_I will fight for you._

_I will always fight for you._

_I am sword, I am shield._

_I am shame, I am pride._

_And I am here.  Always here._

_Do you hear?_

_I am Barrayar_

_and I am singing._

_I am Barrayar_

_and you will hear me_

_sing._

_I am Barrayar_

_I am Barrayar_

_I am Barrayar_

_I am Barrayar_

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a wonderful performance of a poem called Mise Éire (by Patrick Pearse) [Patrick Cassidy feat. Sibéal - Mise Éire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGhblvkfitk) My inspiration was not the literal translation of it but the resonance of pain, sorrow and of the land singing and I immediately thought of Barrayar; what she had suffered and how she was still singing. 
> 
> The words were different for me but all I can do is imagine it being sung with the same passion and heart. But not by me unfortunately (I wish!) but hopefully the poem/song stands on its own. 
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> Many thanks to a_shepherd and Zoya1416 for reactions and back and forth :) What would I do without you?


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